I’m going to the parking lot to get my other bottle of wine and take my mouth over there.

— Judy

I think you just circumcised your dog on the chair

— Kara

Frank looks like a midget ballerina.

— Abbey

All I want to do is joust Rob

— Luke

I’m wiggling.

— Whispered Luke to Dean

Mom, stop making out with the young boys.

— Luke

Dean, we call that chest hair.

— Luke

…And America was crying…

— Deano

Clown lives matter.

— Luke

Come get your balls!

— Mitch

I want to be reincarnated as a dog. Coming back as a dog you get to run around, shit anywhere, and get rubbed all over

— Zack

Baby, come into my tent, baby.

— Gracie to Deano

This coming from a guy with a condom on his head.

— Zack

I can seriously play basketball like pro when I’m drunk

— Kris

Did you hear that Jonathan? That was a chorus of pussies.

— Zack

Debbie’s head looks like a ping pong ball.

— Karen

Popcorn.

— Whispered by Braden

Why did the pumpkin spit on the tomato? BECAUSE IT TOOTED!

— Gracyn

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?!

— Luke

What is a Makbar anyways?

— Jeanne

“Ben’s Wood is really hard.” “It requires a certain skill.”

— Jim & Jason

I’m a Scorpio does that mean I just pinch everything

— Brandon

Juicy Dutchman between the cracks.

— Zack – In regards to Unkown

Ben finds all the wood. You know it.

— Jim

Don’t go in. It’s not worth your life!

— Ben

Abbey got the wood before the wedding

— Kara

Mitchell, you are a vagina.

— Zack

I’m beavering it so hard.

— Jim

“You guys are all assholes, but I have the next rumpler in here”
“Rob’s wang is the only asshole.”

— Abbey & Zack

Slivovitz, It doesn’t taste like you’re blowing a homeless person.

— Zack

Be prepared for Judy to ask if you’ve handled the balls correctly.

— Ben

“I don’t come here to eat. I come to drink!”

— Jeanne

“If the guys in the yellow truck call, just accept the charges.”

— Jason

“Any hillbilly will make you apple pie shots!”

— Terri

“So do you guys come here often.”

— Ben

“This song makes me wanna clean my bathroom.”

— Luke

“I got this shovel at Home Depot in the Children’s Section.”

— Zack

“What the fuck are you doin’?” (To Dexter barking in his tent in the middle of the night)

— JR

“What do you mean, the shops are awesome.”

— Luke

“We went looking for wood,”
“Did you find any?”

— Unanimous response.

“I eat a lot of vegetables for breakfast,”
“Is beer a vegetable?”

— Luke & Ben

“Women are assholes.”

— Tobin

Rumpleminze is like drinking the whole damn Christmas tree, lights, candy canes and all.”

— Kara

”I wanna bathe in that pan.”

— Terri

“Those are some sexy chickens.”

— Heather

“Try to drink the liquor before the fruit slaps you in the face.”

— Allie

“It’s called the yucca effect”

— Jason

”I have a wang…the world is my bathroom.”

— Zack

“If you’re gonna have sex in the woods, you better bring a log back.”

— Luke

“It’s part of the fun, you watch the young boys strike the wood.”

— Judy

“You could put your fingers in that whole crack.”

— Brandon

“Nobody wants to eat soggy nuts.”

— Allie

“Where’s Dexter?….Who Cares.”

— Everyone?